I was once lost but now I'm found

Exactly on this day a year ago, I struggled with depression. I ever thought of dying and to just give up to make my pain go away. I locked myself out in the toilet for hours sulking, self-pitying and wishing that I will just die instantly that day.

Most people do not take depression seriously as they don't really know how it feels like to be depressed. Others say that depressed people aren't really depressed rather they are just people who are attention seekers. But the truth is we aren't seeking attention, we are seeking understanding and we are seeking for an open hand to hold on to. Only people with depression really understands how terrible it really feels. The feeling of constant down, hearing voices in your head telling you incessantly that you are not good enough and wouldn't amount to anything and most of all feeling terrified of an unknown threat. Sometimes depressed people get depressed without exactly knowing why and this is the most frustrating of all. 

Today I am not commemorating the depression I had a year ago but I am celebrating the amazing things that Jesus has done in my life from that day on. I was on the pit of death I cried for help but no one came except Him. He opened up his hands and offered it to me to hold on to. I was ready to jump off the cliff but the Lord hugged me tightly and said “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Mat 11:29)

People around us, our friends, our families, our colleagues, our bosses and even our church families will fail us. Do not put your faith in them for they are just merely human beings. They have limited capacity , they make mistakes, they are not perfect, they will disappoint and fail you eventually. But instead, let us all put all our Trust and Faith in the Lord, for He is good, He is perfect in all His ways,He can do anything. He is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent. He will never fail us.

God has been so good to me. After a year of my journey with Him, He has opened up my eyes to His wonders. He has shown me mercy and forgiveness. He has given me love I’ve never felt before. A love I can’t contain that it burns inside me. He fills the holes in my heart. He humbled my prideful and wicked heart. I finally realized that no one will really amount to anything, we are all not enough no matter what we do because only Jesus can make you enough.There is nothing we can do to make us worthy. Only Jesus can make us worthy. He has made my life complete. For when I have Him, it is enough, I am enough. Having Jesus in your life is enough.

I have made some drastic lifestyle changes and no matter what other people say, it doesn’t define who I am. I am not scared of what you think of me anymore. I am who God says I am.

If there is anyone out there who is depressed, let me just tell you not to waste your time dwelling on your pain, rage, darkness or imperfections. Have FAITH. Accept Jesus Christ in your life as your Lord and Savior. He is worthy. 

If you need someone to talk to and to guide you please let me help and pray for you.Please PM me.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin